Circa 2009, as I sit in my apartment on Euclid Avenue debating if I would take my sister up on her offer to move to Atlanta, GA, I was overwhelmed with a multitude of emotions. A part of me wanted the move. I was desperately seeking a new beginning. I envisioned moving to the south, embracing a new scene, the beautiful, new people and the unknown. The other part of me feared the unknown. Moving meant I would not have a place to call my own, a car, a job or the necessities to get by. I was conflicted and confused. However, I began to pray. I remember going to my eldest son’s bedroom and praying. My prayer was for God to give me peace and clarity in my decision. Long story short, God did just that.
June 2009, the transition from Cleveland, Ohio to Marietta, Georgia took place. Needless to say, it was one of the best decisions of my life. I’m an artist and a designer. Therefore, I am very sensitive to my environments and the atmosphere.
Once I moved to Marietta, although I had no car, no job, and no house to call my own, I had peace like I never experienced before. I knew it was nothing but the GRACE of God, because how can one have peace when there are so many pieces missing? God was holding my hand and leading every step of the way. I always said I was rewarded for the leap of faith I took moving away from almost everything and everyone I knew. Within 2 years, God had blessed me with more than I ever could have imagined. Within months of my transition, I was blessed with a job, a brand new car and a beautiful apartment. Additionally, I went back to school to major in my passion, Fashion Marketing, and Design.
In 2011, God gave me my greatest blessing of my life, my husband. 9 months later, he added to the blessing with the birth of my second son.
In 2012, I began Handcrafted Body Butters by Shelena Racquel.
In 2013, I earned my Bachelors of Fashion Marketing and Design degree.
In 2014, I had my third son.
In 2015, I launched Diary of Queen Esther. I always say “everyone has a story.”
For me, no matter how great things appeared on the outside, I still felt incomplete, sad, broken, bitter, scared, confused and controlled by fear. I am the voice of a girl who mastered smiling and laughing through internal bondage. I would always tell God “I just wanted to be happy.” I hungered to know what success and prosperity felt like.
The mental and financial struggle had worn me down. Bad decision making left me exhausted. Being unsatisfied with who I had became hindered me from enjoying any of my blessings. To sum it all up, I was a mess.
However, little did I know, I was praying to the ultimate FIXER of all messes. There is no mess, and I mean no mess, that’s too much for our Lord God and Savior to clean up. As I stand here today, for the first time in a long time, I’m learning to manage the pains of my past. I am no longer controlled by things I can’t control. Today, I am INSPIRED to inspire others to know life is what we make it. Life can be beautiful, uplifting and liberating. Although life can be hard and knock us down sometimes, we have the authority through Christ Jesus to LIVE, LOVE and be all God created us to be.